Detoxifying Your Self Sabotaging Actions
If you don’t have your mindset straight, you’ll defeat yourself before you ever even get to the gym or prep your first meal. So how do you fix that?
Check out this video with my entire process for cutting out all the toxic mental gunk holding you back. Specifically, how you can:
- Take responsibility for where you are right now and stop feeling like a victim
- Identify the “YoYo” patterns that stop you from getting results
- Discover the triggers behind your bad habits and eliminate them
- And get to the root of the problem and take back control
This might not be a sexy topic, but it is 100% the biggest barrier you need to destroy in order to be present in the gym, in your eating, and in every other area of your life.
95% of our actions are unconscious, created by your underlying beliefs and feelings. In the video, I show you how to take advantage of this to stop yourself from slipping back into nasty habits so you can keep up your progress.
This entire process is so much easier if you have an expert walking you through it. My team is still taking applications for private strategy calls — if you want us to create a plan with you to eliminate your self-sabotaging habits, apply now, and see if we still have openings.
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What’s up babe Nikkiey here and inside of this module, we’re gonna get rid and detoxify all of yourself-sabotaging action. So up to this point, you’ve figured out your goal, you’ve figured out your why, you’ve made the committed decision, you’re in this for the long term, right? But along your journey, you’re gonna come up to hiccups, I told you you’re going to fail. But, the most important thing is that you learn from those failures, you learn from them and you move forward. And what can happen inside those failures, is that you still have some of these actions that you may not be consciously aware of. So inside this module, I am going to help you bring light to these actions and detoxify all of them. So moving forward, you have a clear, fun journey and you understand these kinds of hiccups when you hit them, but you’re kind to yourself and you move on, okay? So, first, we’re gonna talk about taking responsibility of where you are right now and ridding yourself of the victim mentality. Getting rid of that mentality is so important moving forward, because, like I’ve said in previous modules, if you think you can’t, then you can’t, you’re absolutely right. If you keep telling yourself you can’t, you’re not gonna proceed forward, you’re not gonna get the results that you want. So we’re gonna get rid of that kind of mentality and you’re gonna take ownership of where you are right now. Then we’re gonna dive in and talk about the yo yo patterns that stall your results. And you may not even notice that they’re happening, but they do. So I’m gonna bring them to conscious awareness for you so that moving forward, you know how to handle them. On top of that, what can cause those yo yo patterns to happen, is some habitual triggers that you may not, again, be aware of. So I’m gonna help you bring those to light, you’re gonna figure them out. If you ever come to a situation where you’re triggered from something, you’re gonna know what’s the trigger, you’re gonna know how to handle it and you’re gonna know how to be in control, that’s where we’re gonna identify the root problem, get to the root problem of it and help you be in control, moving on forward for our journey. Guys, this module is freaking powerful, it’s gonna bring to the surface, a lot of the demons that you may not know are causing you to have some hiccups or causing us some failures or you’re not even aware of these triggers that you have. So really important to tune in and listen up. So let’s first dive into taking responsibility of where you are right now and ridding yourself of the victim mentality. So taking ownership of your life, where you are right now, in all areas of your life, financially, physically, emotionally, this is all your responsibility. Up until this point, where you are right now, is your responsibility, take ownership of it. You are the creator, you are the controller of your life. The reason why your body is the way it is, is because you’ve got it to that point, it’s not your job, it’s not anything like that, I’m gonna talk about that in a second. You need to fully grasp this concept. And it can be really hard to fully grasp this concept, to come to terms with yourself. But when you come to terms with yourself and you accept this, it’s so empowering to move forward and know that you fully are in control, you are the controller of your life. But it can be hard to to grasp and to fully accept because usually, we wanna blame something or someone else for where you are right now, right? You wanna blame your job, you wanna blame time, you wanna blame traffic, you missed work, you wanna blame, you didn’t get enough sleep, whatever, you wanna blame something or someone else. You wanna blame your husband, you wanna blame your friend blah, blah, whatever. It ain’t that shit, let me tell you that. Take ownership of where you are. When you blame something outside of yourself, you lose all control. When you blame something outside of yourself, when you give bullshit excuses, you lose all control, you are not in control of your life, okay? You’re blaming other things and it’s not other things, your results are in your hands, take ownership of where you are right now. Everything inside this program is based off of real-life results and have changed 1000s of women’s lives. This program is made for you, providing you all of the tools so that you can succeed, both mind, body, the macros, workouts, all that stuff. Therefore, you are responsible for using these tools provided to generate your results. So if you come to points inside this program and you decide to not do the work, you will not get results. Do not blame the program, don’t say this program is too hard, don’t say this program is not working. Guys, it’s hard because I’m challenging you. Anything that is not comfortable is going to be challenging and hard to do. Know this program works and know that if you come to this point and you decide not to the work, you didn’t have the courage to push yourself through it, you didn’t commit yourself enough. So you wanna take a step back and you wanna go back to your why and our goals and figure out exactly why you’re here, because this works, but you have to be the one that’s going to take ownership and do the work. Take responsibility and own it. And the way that you can own it, is by getting rid of this victim mentality, getting rid of these excuses, getting rid of blaming outside forces, saying that I’m not getting results because of x and the reason why things are the way they are, is because x and x is everything else that is not you. So it can be time, it can be social events, it can be anything. But the important thing to understand here, is that x ain’t creating anything, x is not sabotaging your results, it’s you, okay? You are in control. All these external situations, family, friends, social events, going to the beach, being at work, you are in control of it and making control that works for you and the goals that you are achieving. And understand too, that you don’t know everything, because if you knew everything, you wouldn’t have invested in this program and you would already have the understanding of how to obtain the results and keep them and keep them as key, right? If you knew everything, you’d be able to achieve your results and you’d be able to see through to them. But a lot of people don’t see through to them, because they go back into old habits, or they think they know everything and they think that keto or something other is really good, so they try and mix that in with this program. And let me tell you, it’s not gonna work. So just leave an open mind, you don’t know everything, ’cause if you did, you wouldn’t be here right now. And if you get to a module on how to work out properly and just think, oh, I already know how to work out, look, that is a perfect example that you are blocking an opportunity to learn. Keep an open mind moving forward, ’cause let me tell you, these victims, these blamers, the people that think they know it all, the excuse makers, those people do not succeed, they do not get results, do not get caught up in this mentality. This quote I love at the bottom there is “Excuses are lies we tell ourselves so that it doesn’t have to be our fault.” You are in control so take responsibility of where you are and everything moving forward, stop blaming outside things and understand that you are fully in control of everything that you want to achieve for yourself, all right? So let’s talk about these yo yo patterns that stall your results. And guys, this is gonna just bring so much light to you, which I hope it does because I have been working with women for years now and these are major things that just get in their ways and they end up moving backwards. So let me just start off by, this is you, you’re here. You’re starting in this program, you’re super excited, you’re like, yeah, man, I wanna be different, I want my body to be different. I got these goals, I got these vibes, I’m all for it, let’s go and you take five steps forward, okay? You’re doing the workouts, you’re doing the macros, you’re all in it, you’re like mindset, whoa, let’s go, let’s do this and then you start seeing results. And then you’ve got some friends coming over, you’ve got social events this week and you going to the beach, you’ve got a holiday coming up, or you’ve seen progress. And these factors, these external factors that are around you, because you’ve seen progress, and you’re like, oh, I’m good, like I can take a little break, you take a break and three days of taking a break can actually move you like five to 10 steps backwards, okay? So that’s where you end up. If you allow this to get in your way, you’re like in two weeks, I’ve got a social event, I got two weeks to put in the work, you move, you move, you move. You allow the event for three days and then it’s like, oh, God, it’s so hard for me to get back into the groove and you move like five to 10 steps backwards in the other direction, right? How many of you guys have done that? I’m getting a lot of nodding of the heads. Okay, this is what’s happening here in this situation when either A you’re like, oh, I’ve got an event or I’ve seen really good progress so far, so I can just ease off a little bit. This is your subconscious idea of doing good and your mind is satisfied, so your mind shifts and stops doing what got you there in the first place and begins doing things like rewarding itself, right? So you’re like, oh my God, I’m seeing results, oh, I got an event this weekend, oh I’ve been really good for these past couple weeks, I’ve saw awesome progress, I dropped job fat, job weight, so I’m gonna reward myself and one reward turns into two, two turns into three, three turns into two weeks, y’all move in 10 steps backwards. This is the false concept of success, the false idea that you have reached a particular area that starts driving you in the other direction and literally halts all your progress, taking you five steps backwards or 10 steps backwards to your starting point, or guys, even worse. Like you can go back to your starting point and be like, ah fuck, I gotta start all over again or you can go back worse and have that reward go longer, where you gain like 10 more pounds on top of it. Y’all don’t wanna move in that direction, you don’t wanna go that way. So what’s really important is that you can figure out where and what, why, like everything, where, what, when and why you get tripped up. And when your subconscious tells you, it’s okay to stop pushing forward, what does that? Figure out what that is and you becoming consciously aware of those actions, is really, really important because, guys, this is what I talked about before, here, it may cause a hiccup, y’all may fail, you may not be able to stay on track, but what you will learn from that experience, is like, okay, how can I do this better next time? That’s what’s going to get you to drive in the other direction. So you’re starting out, you’re five steps forward and then you have all these social events, but what you gotta do is block out the social events. I don’t mean like ignore ’em and not go, go have fun, but understand that your progress is still waiting for you afterwards. Understand that this is just a day that’s gonna go by, how can you still stay on track? What can you do that’s gonna keep you in your alignment with the goals you want to accomplish? Because when you do that and you set yourself up for success with the new social events, or going out with friends, understanding that progress, you have so much more progress to make, that’s going to keep you going towards your goals, it’s gonna keep you moving in the right direction. Don’t let this shit get in your way because if you do, it’s gonna take you longer and longer and longer to get to the goals that you want. That’s why it’s so important that you’ve figured out your goals, you’ve figured out your why, you’ve listened to the unleashing your strength and understanding how to make those committed decisions for yourself. ‘Cause when you do that and you’ve had these hiccups, you can go back to it, read them, or listen to the manifesto and move forward. Don’t wanna move backwards guys, we all wanna move and increase our lives better, we want to get to that body that we all want. So in order to do that, if you’re here and you allow the shit to get in the way, you’re gonna start moving in the other direction. Moving in the other direction causes more pain and we don’t want pain, we’re always striving to move away from pain. And the way you do that, is you set high standards for yourself with the goals or the why of the committed decision that you want and you can always be better. So even your your progress is good here, be better, set new high standards for yourself, like write out your values, get super clear on everything so that you can always refer back to that because the person that you wanna become, is not gonna let these little things get in her way. The person you wanna become is gonna tackle them head-on and keep making progress moving forward. So set high standard for yourself, you can always be better. So if you hit a goal here, then what can you do to be better? What’s the next step that you can do to be better? How can you turn it up a notch? Just always be striving to be the next best version of yourself. Okay, now let’s talk about how, maybe here, there’s some triggers that you may not be aware of and that could be halting you from what you truly wanna get to. So let’s talk about finding your habitual triggers and figure out exactly what they are. Let’s bring those triggers to light, which can be so extremely hard to do. And if it was easy, everybody would be doing it, everybody would be succeeding far beyond. there’s only that small percentage of women that understand this and and move past it. So I promise you that this is how you can begin to create the positive change in your life, to understand these habitual triggers that are halting you in the progress that you want to see. So triggers can swing both ways. It could be avoidance of pain, sadness, frustration, pressure of your environment, leads one to emotionally eat, like when you are stressed, like stress is a big thing. We’re calm, caves, whatever, you find yourself snacking. You probably don’t even know how you ended up inside the kitchen, but you’re there and you’re eating and you’re sad, but like the damage is already being done, right? But also, the reverse is true, with like accomplishments and happiness and celebrations and birthdays and holidays, everything like that, you’re around these social situations with food and you’re in that situation and you just eat. Like I’ve worked with so many people that find themselves in the situation and they’re just snacking and the damage is already being done, so it can go both ways here. So what happens is, that these emotions, they create feelings. So you have an emotion, let’s say, for example, you’re at a social event and you’re a total introvert, you just like being in your own bubble and you just don’t wanna like socialize or talk to other people, or even if you’re stressed, like being stressed and having the kids running around the house and you’re cramming your work and whatever, those emotions create feelings and feelings create actions. So emotions create feelings and feelings create actions and those actions are usually always eating and 95% of our actions are unconscious, so we don’t even know we’re doing it. So if you attach yourself to these feelings that you are getting, like of stress and the emotion of being stressed, that’s when you emotionally eat, or you attach yourself in your social situation, you’re like nervous or anxious, you attach yourself to them and then you create the action of eating. These emotions, they arise within the mind that create feelings within your physical body that cause you to create the action of eating. So what’s really awesome here is that, when you have these moments, I’m gonna teach you in the next module, exactly what tools you should be getting at the beginning of your journey, but one of them is a journal. And when these emotions come up, or these situations happen, you write down what happened and then you can always refer back to ’em and be like, okay, this triggered me last time, how can I make it better? How can I be better? How can I handle this situation better than next time? What do I need to do? So you can do that, but also below this video, it’s identifying your triggers worksheet and you guys can download that. And inside of that worksheet, I’m gonna just walk you through some questions on how to identify the triggers that you have, like, where are the places you go that cause you to lose sight of what you want and follow your goals? Who are the people who when you are around them, seem to drive you off course? What are they doing that makes this happen? What things cause you deviate from your diet, or go on a binge? What things cause you to deviate from workout plans and throw in the towel? Like what’s your internal dialogue that is not real, but you listen to it that prevents you from staying on course? Like what’s happening, like even so in depth in these moments, like, after it happens, which is going to happen, complete this document, fill it out, so that it’s fresh, it’s on your mind, you’re like this is what happened when I was experiencing the specific trigger. After when you take this mental inventory, take the time to reflect on what is really going on in your life and how it relates to your body and the way that it looks, because when you notice stuff, you can have complete control and you have the choice to change everything that is above. Like for all the negatives, you would just eliminate and adjust and for all the positives, you would just dump more positive onto that. You are in complete control the way that your body looks and you will be for the rest of your life and especially once you understand exactly how to identify your triggers. So this worksheet is below in the downloadable section and I highly recommend that you complete it and fill it out and get super clear on each one of these questions. Okay, let’s go through like how to identify to the root problem of maybe why these triggers come up, because there is always a deeper, deeper, deeper seated reason, or belief that you’ve had from a previous experience or from the past, that is controlling these actions and these feelings. So let’s figure out and identify the root problem and help you understand how to fully be in control. So how your reality is right now, this present moment, could bring you back down to problems of your past, how you internally feel and externally create. So, for example, one of my babes that I’ve been working with for three years now, was 19 years old and had a major eating disorder, was like totally rehabbed for it. And if now, in her later years, 29, 28 years old, how her reality is now, at any present moment, could bring her back down to problems of her past. And this is literally happened, like we’ve had conversations about this. And what you internally feel, you can externally create. So even though at 29 years old, she could have an experience with her family members, which she did, where they were worried about what she looked like even though she’s eating 2800 calories, she’s just shredded and lean, but they were worried about, which brought her back to 19-year-old and having those restrictions and those eating habits and yada yada yada, which made her externally, create problems into her world right now at 29. So for example, like key words could trigger you. You could get called a name from your past that emotionally made you feel sad or angry. For example, like for her, she was too skinny, she was not eating enough and those are words that triggered her. Or key memories that make you think back to an extremely painful experience, with maybe an ex husband or spouse or boyfriend or partner or your parents are calling you fat or making you eat healthy due to your weight as a child, like any of those key words or key memories, even though you’re like older and like I don’t know, 40, 50, even though all this stuff is in the past, you can externally feel it right now and create those feelings to be where you are right now, just by keywords, just by memories. That’s why it’s so important for your surrounding environments, to be with friends and family that make you feel good. Like do your friends and family support you or do they resurface these problematic feelings? Because if you’re surrounding environments, if your friends or family are making you uneasy with these feelings, you will turn to food for a coping mechanism, depending on what these memories or keywords are doing to you, you’ll turn for food for coping, that will be your trigger. Or you’ll stray away from not eating if you’ve had bad experiences with food in the past. So being aware of identifying these like root problem, like is it actually happening right now, or is it a past experience that you’ve thought of in the past? Because if it is, those experiences are done over with, they have nothing to do with your present experience right now. So understanding and listening to what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling that and identifying that problem, can really help you bring to light even more of these triggers that you may have. And making sure that, is it this friend that makes you feel this way? Because if it is, God let them go, Like they are not going to help serve you in the future. And don’t worry about letting them go because you’re gonna have people that do surround you moving forward. Life goes on man. Think about, perfect example, how many of you are friends with people from like grade school? You have different friends growing up. Now, it’s family that’s doing this to you, maybe you can have a sit down and be like, dude, like I’m not me 10 years ago. Like for my client who was 19 years old, like, mom, dad, I’m fine. I’m eating 2800 calories, I don’t have any of the means of habitual habits that I had when I was 19 years old and not eating any food and being frail and skinny and being hospitalized for it. Like sometimes, you just had to have a sit down with people that you actually care about and be like, I’m fine. So it’s really important to identify that root problem. And that’s how you can be in control is, don’t fall victim to your past, know that that you have the root problem identified. You can identify and understand consciously that these stories or beliefs are of your past, like, forgive yourself, that’s not you anymore. And accept that this is a learning experience, like if you get into a moment where you cave in or you catch yourself going into bad restrictive habits again, well take it as a learning experience, figure out why it’s happening, forgive yourself and accept it and move on, know that you’re always constantly learning and evolving. And then like I said, get rid of that negative energy. What others think of you is a reflection of what they think of themselves, okay? For example, with my stepmom, when I first started this, she was like, why do you wanna look like this and I talked about this in previous modules, but it’s because what she think is a reflection of what they think of themselves. Like I hold dear to what I want my body to look, maybe doesn’t resonate with her, maybe it’s not for her, I mean that’s fine. But understand, don’t let that feed into you, don’t let that feed into your decisions and opinions about yourself because what others think of you is a reflection of what they think of themselves. Any specific comment made to upset you, is because that that is how that individual is really feeling, so do whatever you need to do to get rid of this energy. And if that somebody is someone that you love, help them, help them understand how to make the situation better, help them understand, in a loving manner, why is this happening? Are you cool, are you good? Like, why are you having these feelings? Like I know I’m good. Why are you portraying this negativity on me? And then also, in this situation, it’s not easy, it’s not easy to have this kind of conversations with your family members or friends. So what I like to do is I tend to focus on like some major deep breaths and when I focus on my breathing, then I’m kind of in my own bubble, in your own positive bubble and you’re taking a deep breath and you’re like, okay, how can I handle this situation right now to still support me, but help the person understand exactly what I’m going forward with? Always stay in your bubble, stay in the positive bubble of yourself, but always be willing to help other people identify, maybe their problems. And just get rid of your past, get rid of this negativity, you have to align with your power in this journey. As you guys know, going through the previous modules, aligning with your decisions and your wants and your goals, is your power, it’s your strength inside of you. And you are able to bring back your own power, joy and excitement when you are consciously aware of what does and does not serve you. You have to be willing to say no, or having a sit down and having an uncomfortable talks to people and be like, dude, what’s up? Or having mom and dad, I’m not me, that’s not me 10 years ago, I’m eating 3000 calories, I don’t have restrictive habits anymore. You guys just have to make sure that you are always in alignment with your power and what you want and what is not like around you, what’s negative, you need to either let go of or figure out a way to make it better, ’cause you’re consciously aware now of what does and doesn’t serve you, especially with going through all the previous modules that I just shared with you. So your only action item for today’s module, is identifying your triggers worksheet. And it may not serve you to do it right now, but if and when a trigger does come up along your journey and if and when you do fail, which you will, that would be a great time to fill out that worksheet because it’s fresh, it’s new and you’re gonna be able to identify exactly what does trip you up and you’re gonna be able to be clear on it and write it down that worksheet. So just print out for now and if anything does happen, move forward and fill that sucker out because becoming consciously aware of why you react to things, helps you to make better decisions that align with your goals and why you’re here as a Warrior Babe. So I’ll leave you on that note. Guys, make sure you tune in to the next module because in that module, I’m gonna be sharing some very important tools for you to get yourself set up for this successful journey, moving forward and exactly what you need to have and where to start and all that kind of jazz. So make sure you dive into this next module and I’ll see you there.